peta, zombies, and marshalls

I had the strangest dream last night. I woke up this morning feeling all weird but liberated at the same time. So it goes like this: I was in the Marshalls shopping. This goes to the weird because I don’t ever go to the Marshalls and I’m not a huge fan of shopping. But there I was. And apparently, PETA had taken over the country. Seriously. And this makes it a little more nightmarish than dreamish because who the fuck wants to be a vegan? But, anyway, I’m at the Marshalls shopping and then they announce the PETA mandated zombie adoptions over the loud speaker. And then the PETA people start coming around the store with zombies on leashes giving them to people so they can take them home. I think I must have been in the Marshalls because I was in some sort of vegan haze because this really pissed me off that they were giving away zombies and not killing them. And I was really pissed off because my baseball bat was at home. And then I snapped. I found some frying pan in the houseware aisle and started taking out zombies while screaming, Fuck you, PETA!” And then I woke up.

I don’t know what that means; but I do know I don’t ever want to be a vegan, a member of PETA, shop at Marshalls, or adopt a fucking zombie.

Advertisement

---